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The Back Seat of My Mother's Car
We left before I had time
to comfort you, to tell you that we nearly touched hands in that vacuous half-dark. I wanted to stem the burning waters running over me like tiny rivers down my face and legs, but at the same time I was reaching out for the slit in the window where the sky streamed in, cold as ether, and I could see your fat mole-fingers grasping the dusty August air. I pressed my face to the glass; I was calling to you – Daddy! – as we screeched away into the distance, my own hand tingling like an amputation. You were mouthing something I still remember, the noiseless words piercing me like that catgut shriek that flew up, furious as a sunset pouring itself out against the sky. The ensuing silence was the one clear thing I could decipher – the roar of the engine drowning your voice, with the cool slick glass between us. With the cool slick glass between us, the roar of the engine drowning, your voice was the one clear thing I could decipher – pouring itself out against the sky, the ensuing silence piercing me like that catgut shriek that flew up, furious as a sunset. You were mouthing something: I still remember the noiseless words, the distance, my own hand tingling like an amputation. I was calling to you, Daddy, as we screeched away into the dusty August air. I pressed my face to the glass, cold as ether, and I could see your fat mole-fingers grasping for the slit in the window where the sky streamed in rivers down my face and legs, but at the same time I was reaching out to stem the burning waters running over me like tiny hands in that vacuous half-dark. I wanted to comfort you, to tell you that we nearly touched. We left before I had time. |
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© 2008, Julia Copus From: The Shuttered Eye Publisher: Bloodaxe, Newcastle, 1995 |
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